How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever e book, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is on the market for pre-order! Here!

An precise e book that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, when you favor my dulcet tones, take heed to along with your ears. You’ve cherished my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by way of my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind once I nearly by accident penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, once I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my legislation diploma to change into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You would name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a trend mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my e book within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embrace a narrative about by accident occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by way of my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it could not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this e book. Let’s not get the flawed finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it acquired to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a trip by way of a decade of the unbelievable situations and stunning occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and steadily ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. After all there are. In reality I used to be particularly informed, once I acquired the e book deal, that I needed to embrace the bits that might create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to all the components that may doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However principally this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I didn’t change into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular capability to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any scenario.

You may pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I feel it’s a fairly secure wager that you simply’ll adore it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so when you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I submit then please make it this one. I’ll be ceaselessly in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the e book and concerning the technique of writing it as a result of it has actually been the most effective, most satisfying factor I’ve ever completed in my grownup life. For those who’ve adopted me for some time then you definitely’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really comfortable accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve a superb and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a e book deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.